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Make You Believe

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[25 Nov 2012|08:40pm]
2 Scarred me with their beautiful words

set me free [14 Sep 2010|11:16pm]
[ mood | borderline ]

Alone again.
My thoughts begin to wander.
Always feeling so alone.
I will never escape from this.
Never will I make anyone understand.
For I can never understand the workings of my mind.
Built weak and never meant to be strong.
I long for recovery, but that road is a scary one.
The pain is unbearable.
So much that this is why they can't understand.
My soul shattered so long ago.
I may never be fortunate enough to pick up the pieces.
A life wasted in an unsound mind.
Never to be made whole again.

with their beautiful words

[24 May 2009|07:59pm]
I feel like I'm breaking again. I have no one to turn to, but just maybe one thing to turn to. Keeping the thoughts away is getting much harder now. I can't escape not from the day and not from the night. I'm living this nightmare all over again. Get these thoughts gone.
with their beautiful words

[31 Mar 2009|05:37pm]
I am over fucking all of this. The sooner he is gone the better off I will fucking be. I can't take these stupid fucking games no more. Fuck him. I can't believe I fucking got myself into this horrible situation. I love my baby, but I don't want to be just anouther statistic in the world. I guess I was wrong to think this would work out. I am just not a person anyone can stay with.
1 Scarred me with their beautiful words

Migraines and being sick are so lame. [09 Feb 2008|08:51pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

I think I feel more worse today than I have in the past two days. Wishing for this illness to go away. I need someone terribly to come cuddle with me and take this all away. It's nine o'clock I am headed back to bed. Sleep is the only thing that is comforting me, but not making me feel better.

with their beautiful words

Crush it all.... [10 Jul 2007|04:03pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Lately, I have been through what I believe hell in back. You might agree or you may not. I'm not the judge here. About three weeks I was hospitalized for overdosing on trazodone. Blood pressure dropped to high forty's over low thirty's. Needless to say I was close to death. I called the 911 because I was feeling myself die. Most of fucked up feeling I have ever felt. I am still haunted by the feeling. Spent about five days in the psyche ward. Back again for the third time already this year. I am going through Adult and Child for treatment and getting set up at the Julian Center for some more group therapy. To add on to my shit list that has happened to me. I was arrested this past Saturday for sleeping in my car on a public street. I was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. I spent the night in Wishard and spent about eight in the morning until about four thirty in the processing center. That was the most enjoyment of my life. I've lost my car yet again. I am only aloud to drive it to work and my appointments, but this will only last a few weeks. Thank god! By the end of it you could say I am doing better. I feel like I'm doing better besides all this shit I've been through. I think the medications are finally start to kick in. Run down of the meds list Lamictal for mood stabilizer for the Bipolar, Zoloft for the PSTD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Vistiril for anxiety, and Trazodone to help me sleep at night. Yeah, medications pretty much run my life. Something I am quite excited about it my twenty-first birthday is in two days. July 12! Hells yes. That concludes a little update about my life so far. Who knows when I'll be back, but yes I will be back again to keep in touch. If not we all know I have failed at life.

3 Scarred me with their beautiful words

[12 Apr 2007|01:24am]
there is always something like giving up on the ones who you thought always cared.
1 Scarred me with their beautiful words

Tell me how does it feel to be different from me? [22 Mar 2007|11:52pm]
It's all suffocatting me now. Don't lose grip. Just, please promise you'll hold me a little longer. Don't let the air run out now.
with their beautiful words

A Simple Quote In Time..... [14 Feb 2007|01:45am]
[ mood | tired ]

"I felt in odd mixture of dismay and excitement. The reason I was in the hospital was to avoid doing this. It had been explained to me that if I felt tempted, it was my responsibility to talk to one of the nurses. The trouble was, I knew this didn't help. Because I didn't really understand what I was doing. I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't get beyond the very basic, I want to cut myself. It was this inexpressible gulf between what I did, what I thought and what little I could put into words that made things so much more difficult."
~Victoria Leatham
:Blood Letting

with their beautiful words

I wish I could be a little bit more like you.... [01 Feb 2007|06:54pm]
[ mood | lost. ]

Fuck coping.
Ruining my life is so much easier.

with their beautiful words

Everythings plastic, we're all going to die sooner or later. [22 Jan 2007|05:25pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

We all need the morality of a child. The world would work so much better then.

2 Scarred me with their beautiful words

The Day the World Stood Still was the Day I Died. [22 Jan 2007|06:34am]
My week was spent in the delightful psych ward. I learned a lot of new things and most definitely a new outlook on life. Lets see how long it last. I'm in love with a boy who hardly knows it and that kills me every time I look into his eyes. My car is dead on 65 or towed by now and I am sitting here drunk at six-forty in the morning because I can't cope with life or at least trying to cope with life or just a fucking alcoholic. But all in all I feel like I am doing a lot better even though I can stop some things.
with their beautiful words

[09 Jan 2007|06:50pm]
I've lost my touch with reality. My mind may be a bit to far lost for me to ever come back.
with their beautiful words

You're two floors down getting high in the back room. [10 Oct 2006|06:33pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I think it is going to be anouther one of those days.

with their beautiful words

[04 Oct 2006|06:25pm]
It totally wasn't because I was drunk.
You'll believe it one more time and many more times after that.
with their beautiful words

Random thought. [30 Sep 2006|05:31am]
You totally know it is true.
Don't argue.
Don't tell me it was because I was drunk.
I'll tell you a million times over.
Only so you can know what real truth is.
Just say you'll beleive for this one time.
with their beautiful words

[06 Aug 2006|04:16pm]
Aaron H. Kriel 20, Indianapolis, passed away Sunday, July 30, 2006. Survived by brother, Jordan Kriel; parents, Richard and Nancy Kriel; grandparents, Floyd and Margaret Fields and Patrica Kriel. Family to receive visitors 11:00-12:30 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 3rd at Southport Christian Church, 201 E. Epler. A memorial service to follow.
3 Scarred me with their beautiful words

[05 Jul 2006|08:35am]
I really hate this disease sometimes.
Make it stop!
1 Scarred me with their beautiful words

They May Say I'm A Dreamer [26 May 2006|12:08am]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm still alive and doing what I can to stay alive. It's probally been a good awhile since many of you have heard or even seen from me. Still working at the Goodwill, of course and lovin it. I don't spend to much time at home anymore which is why I'm never on this damn thing which I haven't figured out if it is a good thing or a bad thing. So, what's been up with me lately. Car died and is now running again, tire went flat, and I cracked my windshield by throwing my key at it. That all happened in about of week of eachother. I had a mental breakdown about that same time. I'm now going to Adult&Child three days a week for three hours a day doing Intensive Group therapy. I completed my first week tonight. I must say I am going to really enjoy this and get a lot of help from it. I'm glad I'm taking the right step somewhere in my life. I got in to Ivy Tech for the fall. I will only be going part time and that rocks. I'm really hoping to move out sometime in the summer, who knows? I might, I might not. I'm headed off to bed. Night, lovelies.

1 Scarred me with their beautiful words

Hiya! [17 Mar 2006|01:45am]
[ mood | Fucked Up. ]

Hi world. How are you today? Grand, great. So muscle relaxers and some bud and beer go great together. Have a fantastical night.

1 Scarred me with their beautiful words

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